Is there anybody out there?

So, it's been a while, but that doesn't mean that we've been sitting around eating ice cream watching crappy tv.  No siree!  We've been not quite selling a house.  That's right ladies and gentlemen, we've been under contract twice before and are under contract with number three now.  The first buyer we ran from because closing was going to happen "way off in late November and there was a better offer coming" (oops).  Number 2 just up and changed their minds.  This one looks like it might just go all the way through though.  Maybe.  So keep those fingers crossed that this buyer sticks around despite his or her better judgment.

With this last contract we decided to make it stick by staging the bedrooms. The logic being that since we're undertaking additional efforts to sell it, certainly it'll all be moot.  Either way here's photographic evidence that it IS possible to fit a bed in each of the bedrooms

Figure 1.  Not included, those pillows are MINE!

Figure 2.  ...But you can keep the pink blankie

We're still almost kinda sorta confident that this might actually go through.  Who knows, maybe Christmas miracles DO happen.  But, it'll be another few weeks before we know for sure.  Until then then...

An effort to garner your sympathy

The whole week leading up to, er, well, the weekend was filled with a sense of foreboding.  Being an engineer means that I don't really know what that word means, but onward anyway.  Basically, we, ok, I, was not looking forward to dryer vent installation.  Seems a relatively innocuous task, no?  Why, of course, except at Garvin, where we elected to build a home without leaving a vent for a dryer.  Who us, dopes?  Nah.

Resultingly (not sure if that's a word), it means that someone had to crawl under the house with the dead bodies and rats and other creepy crawlies to get it done.  Since the boss (Hi Wife!) doesn't like enclosed spaces (NOTE: I don't believe that Claustrophobia exists) I drew the only straw and shimmied under.  Let me tell ya, the view ain't all that.

Figure 1.  The view from the crypt: Not a lot of headroom

The objective here was to cut a hole in the floor and put in that flexible ducting.  Easy peasy.  Well, it took two days, broke a drill, nearly broke an arm, but VOILA!

Figure 2.  May or may not be up to code with the Floam, but I don't even care

With that, we now (believe we) have a fully functioning set of appliances!  Well, we haven't turned on the gas for the range, but the microwave, fridge, sink, garbage disposal, washer, dryer, and theoretically dishwasher (NOTE: Test not completed, but it doesn't leak) all appear to work.

While yours truly was hoping the house didn't collapse above, the Boss (Hi Wife!) did a jam up job cleaning the inside, readying it for more visitors.  Quarter round was put in the master closet, caulked in, and given a coat of paint.  The backdoor was trimmed so that it doesn't stick on the floor, then repainted and hung (hanged, no: Installed!).  Also, the house apparently isn't done settling, because a crack developed in the dining room area.  D'oh!  Well, that's now been filled and painted, so it's back to ready.

Of course, while completely covered in schmutz some lady came strolling up wanting to check the house out.  I think my looking like a chimney sweep startled her a bit.  As we were leaving, another couple folks were planning to swing by for another look.  Hopefully, we can sucker, oops, I mean, sell one of them on this one!

It should be pretty quiet on the blog front for the next little bit.  We don't really have much else to do (sign some papers, perhaps).  But we do plan to "affect" the guest bathroom vanity and build some kind of panel to hide the plumbing, but other than that...  maybe wash the outside?  Does that count as a thing?

WHOA, whoa, whoa!  So, as this is being written, I asked the boss (Hi Wife) to check out the house down the street that had an open house today.  This is it:

http://www.zillow.com/homes/for_sale/46156384_zpid/2-_beds/2-_baths/days_sort/28.56057,-81.354629,28.55519,-81.361699_rect/16_zm/

Is that nicer than ours?  Seriously?  I can't tell, because I'm like a parent, convinced that my little genius is a future Thomas Jefferson-Edison-Jordan.  But, seriously you realtor-type folks, is this place more expensive than ours?  We're the cheapest date on the block, I mean, come on!

Have we met?

Yeah, it's been a while.  In fact, it's been more than a week.  "What's the hold up?" you ask.  You ponder, "why no more pictures of that fine craftsmanship?"  "How did I get this cheese sauce on my shirt?" you wonder.

Well, I can help you out with a few of those.  The cheese sauce came from your cheesesteak, derp.  All that wonderful, gooey cheese atop those perfectly sizzling pieces of beefsteak...  As for the pictures, I don't know what to tell you.

...ok, that's a lie.  The reason that there are no pictures is because we're really kinda done (another lie).  Well, at least done with stuff that photographs well.  The garbage disposal is in and plumbed up!  ...as is the dishwasher.  Both of which appear to function completely leak free!  Guess all those years of being a fluid system engineer have paid off handsomely.  Thanks to the Boss (Hi Wife!) for her ability to grease up the fittings and jam 'em all together!

There was, however, ergo, yet, a small, itsy bitsy issue with the installation of the range.  Well, two, if you count our own herpi-derpitude in trying to find fittings to, well, fit.  Once we got past that, there was a small issue in that the internal piping to the range hits the stupid stub out for the gas lines which prevents us from making the range flush with the back wall.  Oh well.  ...we're well past the point of just mailing it in just to be done with it all.

On notes-unrelated-to-work-but-still-and-yet-related-to-the-house, we've had a steady stream of lookie-loos.  ...even a few people coming by twice, but still no official offers (which are the best kind).  But, we're not worried yet, it's still early.  ...matter of fact, there are already a couple scheduled for RIGHT NOW!  Oh God, did I clean up?  ...and another one tomorrow, and another one for Saturday.

So, there's still hope yet!  Keep those fingers crossed.

That includes YOU!

Club Garvin

After such a successful Saturday of trim work, certainly Sunday's little amount of trim would be no issue.  Except that it was.  Maybe the walls and trim were just more wonky in the rooms that were left, and the tub piece in the guest bathroom already presented itself as a pain.  So, maybe it does make sense that what was left was more difficult.  But, either way, tis DONE!  Caulked in and everything.  Well, it's done unless the Boss (Hi Wife!) deems another coat of paint is in order, which, who are we kidding, there's probably going to be a request for two.

With the mitering skills completely dusted off with the quarter round, it was time to tackle the thresholds.  Apparently, it's not ok for the bar codes on the tiles to be exposed.  Seemed like it was an opportunity for us to give some contingency-type information to the new homeowners, kinda like leaving leftover paint, or samples, or something.  But, so much for being considerate.  It was with that instruction that the seams between sunroom and living room, kitchen and dining, and bathroom and hallway were addressed.  Here's what all that mitering looks like with the pieces in place.

NOTE: The boss (Hi Wife!) will almost certainly not like the overhang to the tile, but oh well!

Figures 1-7  My geometry teacher would be sooo proud!  ...because of the angles.

That last piece of trim (on the left of Figure 7) is really the whole coup de grace (misspellings don't count if it's in a foreign language).  That piece had to be hogged out in the back where it meets the cabinet and then the end had to be mitered at some odd angle to match up with the trim of the cabinet.  Here that faint, brass-like wail in the background.

...listen close...

That's definitely the sound of me tooting.

...my own HORN!  Oof, that was awful, sorry.

Hard to believe but that's really the gist of the rest of Sunday and Monday.  There were some other crucial tasks that were accomplished that can perhaps be puffed up a bit to sound more important.  ...like, how's the fact that the house has HOT WATER NOW?!  Welcome to the penthouse.  Yup, again, my electrical expertise was put to get use diagnosing the problem (breaker = OFF).  Either way, it gets crossed off the list, and I get credit for it.  Also, a wonky cabinet/drawer interface was fixed.

With Monday being a holiday though, it was a free opportunity to catch up.  Of course, it would've been nice to have had a second set of hands working (Ooo, sick burn, huh boss?  (Hi Wife!)), but it was all moot because apparently this house was the hottest place to be in Orlando!  That's right, while diligently working towards the installation of a garbage disposal, the phone was blowing up with people wanting to schedule showings.  Immediately after putting my phone down and getting back under the sink someone knocks on the door wanting to see it.  Dude, follow the directions, notify the homeowner.  We don't need you seeing that kitchen sink isn't plumbed in yet.  After shoo-ing them away (only temporarily) another creeper realtor made a drive by, stopping outside just staring at me.  But, given my current axe-murderer like appearance, they thought better of coming to the door.

After they did their thing, I returned to the house to try and complete the disposal job.  Well, I came pretty darn close (all that lacks is the plumbing part).  Since the electrical line was a little too short, a box needed to be installed in the cabinet and a plug put on the disposal.  But, master electrician I am, BAM:

Figure 8.  It even turns ON and roars!

1. Full bore testing of the system will occur later this week if we're able to plumb it all up.

Wait a Minute!

Sorry to disappoint you, dear reader, really, I am.  You were expecting that the next post would be details about the sale.  ...perhaps you were thinking that we'd received an offer (or eleven) complimenting our craftsmanship, offering full asking price or more.  Alas!  Hark!  Ye other olde words and phrases here!  Nope, no sale.  Not yet.

...but, there was more work done.  Yeah, I thought we were done, too.

You see, we'd listed it knowing that there were a few, ok, more than a few, odds and ends and some more odds still on the to-do list.  With that in mind the day began with attempts at dressing up a few more things that might actually be noticed by potential buyers.

Figure 1.  No, this is not an old picture.

Let's pretend you're reading an old issue of Highlights.  Yes, that Highlights magazine, the one for kiddos.  Notice any differences between this pictures and the old pictures of this hallway leading to the guest bedroom?  No?!  For shame.  Why, it's totally obvs that the air intake vent thingy has been closed and painted.  Oh, and thankyouverymuch, there's even a new air filter in there, so I don't wanna here any griping about the dustiness.

Figure 2.  This picture is boring, sorry.

...and I also "installed" (I really hate that word for work like this, it makes it sound way more technical and important than it really is) the breaker box cover.  Certainly there are drips and other painting flaws, but that's why this picture isn't zoomed in.

While that was in work, a text was transmitted that we were going to have a showing.  ...which officially turned the nervousness up to 11!  Don't ask for an explanation, I'm loosely embarrassed to have responded that way, but I did, but there it is.  With the new news, I went after a task that was somehow appealing that no one EVER cares about: "installing" (there's that word again!) the microwave vent.  Apparently, it's unacceptable to vent the odors of a Hungry Man (TM) meal into the upper cabinet.  As a result, the vent needed to be tied together, which somehow proved to be more difficult than anticipated.  Also, it's official, cutting duct-work can and will cut the poo-poo out of you.  At least, it did to me.  But, hey, that's the price of glory (if glory can be categorized in venting a microwave), am I right?

Figure 3.  That tape should be on everything, it's AWESOME!

I made myself scarce well in advance of the showing, since I didn't want them to see the truck and think poorly of the house.  Upon my return I found no evidence that anyone had looked at the place.  I mean, don't people leave business cards anymore?  At least they turned off all the lights and such.

With that in the bag, the next item on the list was adding the moUlding.  Yeah, there's a 'u' in there.  On purpose.  We, well, the boss (Hi Wife!) determined it was important to hide the roughly 3/4" gaps between the floor moUUUUlding and the floor with some quarter round.  This was a legitimately fun project, because I am now the MASTER OF THE MITER!  That's right, NO (as in 0, zero, nil) boogered up cuts!

Figures 4-7.  Look at that!  Seriously, zoom in on that!  The dark and white stuff is even mitered beautifully(ish)

Figure 8.  There's even a piece of trim there!  And on the other side of the door!  That's how crazy this is!  There was even some real fancy stuff done to accommodate for non-square walls/trim!  This needs more exclamation points!

Ok, well, as good as that may've been, it's not done.  There still needs to be trim in the rest of the hallway and both of the bedrooms.  But still, the boss (Hi Wife!) will certainly find minimal flaws with this trim work.  But hey, that's what tomorrow's for!

AAAAAAAAHHHHHH (an exercise in CAPS LOCK!)

Understanding that the title can be read two ways was COMPLETELY INTENTIONAL because I are a sofistikated writerer.

Definition #1:  AAAAAAAAHHHHHH = the noise made when easing into a hot bath, as the bubbles reach up and tickle your chin.  You sink down further and further, relaxing...

Definition #2: AAAAAAAAHHHHHH = HOLY SH!#!  a.k.a the noise you make as a flying cockroach lunges at your skull carrying insect-poo related diseases.

In this case, BOTH definitions apply.  It's ON PURPOSE, because, THE HOUSE IS OFFICIALLY FOR SALE:

http://www.movoto.com/orlando-fl/1716-garvin-st-orlando-fl-32803-431_o5316367/

[DISCLAIMER: Neither the boss (Hi Wife!) nor I wrote the text of the listing]

Ready to Go?

I'll go ahead and cut to the chase: We got an offer!  As we were wrapping up with the chores someone walked up and made his pitch to us.  He said that he and his wife/girlfriend/realtor flip houses in the neighborhood and wanted to take a look since he saw the sign in our yard.  Being the generous, accommodating folk that we are, we showed them around.  After hemming and hawing, he made an offer to us, albeit informally.  So, it appears as though in the worst case scenario, we'll still be decently in the black!  Yay!  ...well, until we pay taxes and such and then we'll be decidedly closer to even.  ...but still!  This is a positive thing!  I, pessimist as I am, HAVE to view this as a positive sign.

Bearing that in mind, we still did do work today, putting more polish on the tur....key!  Ok, polish on a turkey isn't entirely appealing, but taken separately, they each have their merits, so just roll with it.  The boss (Hi Wife!) did a bang up job cleaning the everything rooms to get them ready for pictures.  

So here we roll.  The first set of photos-graphed were for the master bathroom/closet, behold!

We will spare you more pictures of the master bath...we've milked the tasks in this bathroom for more than they are worth.  But speaking of repeats...here are some daytime pics of the guest bath...mmmm...milk, does a body good!

Next, whilst Randall painted doors and such (yes, we just changed authors because Randall is indisposed), I tackled cleaning the hobbit laundry room.  BAM!

After laundry I headed to the kitchen.  These pics also show the new grout that we did to hide the gap between the counter top and the back splash tile.  It ties in pretty nicely.

Figures X-Y: Nope, no more gaps!

The schizophrenia is really taking hold now as I'm back at the helm as the boss packs for ANOTHER TRIP.  Yup, to celebrate our anniversary the boss (Hi Wife!) is heading out of town to visit friends and leave me with the finishing up.  I didn't realize that 5 years was to-do lists!

The rest of the night was really spent hiding the flaws, er, I mean, "cleaning".  Our game plan has apparently become Let's-Distract-Them-with-the-Floors-and-Hope-They-Don't-Notice-the-Other-Flaws.  Look at these babies shine

Figure Y+1.  Master Bedroom (I think?)

Figure Y+2.  Living to Dining to Kisshen

Figure Y+3.  We decided to paint the walls orange-ish, think Pumpkin Spice Lattes!

Yeah, no, we didn't do that, it's just the cozy-osity of the dining room chandelier.

Thursday afternoon we put the finishing touches on what we thought was necessary for a showing.  Just keep hoping that they don't pull too hard on a few door handles and aren't too squeamish about less than perfectly clean tiles, and, well, it's a longer list than it should be.

Either way, Friday it should be up and official, the link will be posted for all to see.  Think it'll sell before the boss comes back on Monday?  Mmmmm, doubtful, but maybe someone will come look at it and tell us that it really needs thresholds (THEY'RE IN THE CLOSET OK?!) or some quarter round around all the baseboards (IT'S IN THE GARAGE GET OFF MY BACK, MAN!).

Happy Almost-Labor-Day Weekend!